Let's try this again

westerbroski: Oh yeah my rad sister ordered me this modern...

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:08:24 -0400

Heheheh geddit? Ass-ASS-in! Heuheuehuehueheh!

Oh yeah my rad sister ordered me this modern assassin design from FUCKING HONG KONG as a late birthday present because the Firefly shirts she’d originally ordered were delivered to the wrong address and instead of sending it back saying it was the wrong address the asshat who recieved the package kept our matching shirts (if I ever find the bastard my foot is going so far up their ass they’ll taste rubber for dinner)

I fucking love it but the one problem is that it’s kind of big on me because my sister’s a dumb-butt and ordered a medium in Men’s size.

/casually resists modern assassin fanart and cosplu

Took me awhile to find the picture evidence, but I’m glad you like it. Sorry it was to big, I ordered it at 0300 after having a mini heart-attack for reasons.

death-by-lulz: snakelet: this is 911 state your emergency YES...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 01:18:05 -0400

death-by-lulz:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

herpedthenderped: jesuisenretardis: kittensandscience: identit...

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:44:27 -0500

herpedthenderped:

jesuisenretardis:

kittensandscience:

identityfox:

thewreckling:

jake, drill, can you confirm or deny for me

Wow this is way too accurate.

TRUTH. Especially the part about the weather

I’m afraid this is all true. We’ve also got a Hell of a lot of Wal-Mart and more lightening than anywhere else in the world.

I’d like to point out that this is incorrect. We have disney world. The distinction is important.

britishstarr: bloodyjam: le-nickasaur: surrealscorpion: In...

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:40:04 -0500

britishstarr:

bloodyjam:

le-nickasaur:

surrealscorpion:

In India, a snake protects two pups for 48 hours after they accidentally fall into a hole. At first it was thought that she wanted to attack them, but then noticed she was caring for the puppies. When rescued, the snake was released into a forest.

It is impossible not to share it with you.

that snake is going to snake heaven

precious babies

I couldn’t help myself.

I miss you. <3

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:08:23 -0500

And this is what friends are made of, ladies and gentlemen; and I must admit, I have the best <3

So glad my more-than-likely-normal roommate walked out; I forgot how hard it is to not laugh like a moron while scrolling through tumblr.

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:02:00 -0500

19 days until boot camp.

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 02:04:02 -0400

I’m scared and excited. After ten years of waiting the next step is about to begin, but now I wonder; am I strong enough?

The Lord of the Cube: The Stark Tower

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 00:24:33 -0400

The Lord of the Cube: The Stark Tower

aedjfn;a"dw'AJEF;'f

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 23:36:10 -0400

NO TUMBLR

TUMBLR STOP THAT

I HAVE TO GO BACK TO MIDDLE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING

DON’T DISTRACT ME WITH YOUR “ONE MORE MINUTE” LIE

sherlynomates: gingerhaze: what have I done Not sorry at...

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:14:06 -0400

sherlynomates:

gingerhaze:

what have I done

Not sorry at all

sweeterthenthespooks: fncyhorsekind: ivynajspyder: brashblack...

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 17:50:59 -0400

sweeterthenthespooks:

fncyhorsekind:

ivynajspyder:

brashblacknonbeliever:

confuzzeldmind:

bellisadinosaur:

shortformblog:

OK, who’s the smart aleck that registered this site? (Click the link to see what we mean.)

This is amazing.

You glorious motherfuckers.

Oh shit, this is so beautiful!

I’m dying help

I never reblog this stuff but this is so worth it

cannibalcoalition: witchlingfumbles: cannibalcoalition: superw...

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 17:46:58 -0400

cannibalcoalition:

witchlingfumbles:

cannibalcoalition:

superwholockianpotter:

heartslogos:

myadamantiumheart:

supergreak:

loki-cat:

can we please just take a moment to close our eyes and imagine how insanely hilarious and refreshing a public debate between tony stark and romney would be

2016?

On gay marriage:

“No, you don’t understand, Mittens, of course I recognize gay marriage and complete equal benefits for my employees; I trust them with the best technology and equipment and explosives in the country. As long as they don’t blow up my facilities, I’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep them happy and healthy. Explosives, Mittens.”

On reproductive rights:

“Just for a second, close your eyes, and imagine that the Black Widow is your co-worker. And also lives two floors down from you, so she knows where you sleep. She once incapacitated me- for my own health, of course, but that’s irrelevant- she can do any job a man can do, better, without breaking a sweat, and she learned ‘enhanced interrogation’ from the KGB. Do you want to tell her what she can or cannot do with her own body? I thought not. Okay, moving on.”

On jobs:

“Who remembers that stock crash when I first came out as Iron Man and said I wasn’t making weapons anymore?” *uncomfortable snickers from audience*

“No, go ahead, laugh. Everyone thought I was crazy. Pepper thought I was crazy, and I owe her a pony for putting up with me all these years. Oh, shoot, national TV, now I have to give her one, don’t I? Anyway, they thought I was crazy, because I was shutting down the biggest branch of SI, where most of our manufacturing and research went. Investors didn’t have hope. But you know what? We took those brilliant people, got some fresh ideas, remodeled some factories, and not one employee got laid off that year. Because if you people work hard, and work together, and you work in a fair environment where every crazy, brilliant idea has a chance to flourish, then you can take half a company and grow it to bigger than it was before.

And that’s what we need to do with jobs in this country. These unemployment statistics? Suck. So let me give you some numbers about how I plan to fix that, so we can get this country working again. Here’s the plan: and then he goes and gives statistics, and Romney makes a fish face, because Pepper Gave Him Notecards And He Actually Followed Them. Well, for this part of the speech.

On defense:

I am Iron Man, in case you don’t watch the news. Also, we have a Hulk. Just putting that out there. Considering the events of the last few years, I think other countries will think twice about pissing off President Stark.

On green energy: Stark is pretty much still the only name in green energy, and all our new facilities are LEED Gold certified. We’re still working on upgrades to some of the oldest buildings, but they’re well on their way. You know how hard it is to get building permits in California? So yeah, I support the efforts we make in this country to live more sustainably. Because I love this country, and I’d like to save it for the long run. It’s kind of what I do. Because it’s awfully hard to Avenge against pollution.

And in case they get into a dick size contest over who loves America more…

“I’m in a monogamous relationship with freedom”

i’m crY I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THIS WORLD

omg help me I’ve fallen down laughing and crying and can’t find the will to get up

Okay, everyone go home. Tony Stark and this post just won the Internet.

I claim relevance on this.

Tony, who told you you could run for President?

…Actually, I just got confirmation from Fury. SHIELD will be funding your campaign. We need to beat this Romney idiot.

I am Tony Stark and I approve this message.

late-night-halloween: I LOLED SO HARD!

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 17:43:36 -0400

late-night-halloween:

I LOLED SO HARD!

Reblog If You Grew Up With This

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 23:04:25 -0400

a-bit-nearer-home:

fromthedeskofpresidentromney:

doctorwhothefuckareyou:

forever-waiting-for-london:

jumpushfall:

jumpushfall:

a-pretty-optimistic-pessimist:

NOT this:

kids these days are so spoiled

when i was your age we had an animated disney castle intro

and we had to walk uphill both ways to see it

Barefoot, in the snow

SEVEN MILES.

With wolves chasing us

While ON FIRE.

Whose on fire, us or the wolves?

fanaticality: chakwas: marnaeileen: placebopill: hallovvwvvwv...

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:29:50 -0400

fanaticality:

chakwas:

marnaeileen:

placebopill:

hallovvwvvwvvwvvwvvween:

breakcorechoirboy:

So a friend of mine pitched down the sound of a baby crying and

I’m really uncomfortable

ew

I LITERALLY CAN’T STOP LAUGHING OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY A;SLDFJ

Frankenstein masturbating

I was crying laughing and mostly because of the Frankenstein masturbating comment XDDDDDD!!!

I had to press stop three seconds into it; it was so terribly awkward to have these sounds playing from my bedroom XD

Pigeon crap!: IMPORTANT:

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:52:02 -0400

Pigeon crap!: IMPORTANT::

villainsgoleft:

rangerthefuckup:

ALERT**** ALERT**** ALERT****(Not sure if this has gone out yet)

Westboro Baptist Church will be protesting SGT Donna Johnson’s funeral at 10:15am Saturday Oct 13th at the Raeford Presbyterian Church, 128 Edinborogh Ave Raeford NC 28376. If you…

fanaticality: kaynanarie: adi-the-kouhai: askdaydreamingcrazyo...

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:42:43 -0400

fanaticality:

kaynanarie:

adi-the-kouhai:

askdaydreamingcrazyotaku:

hippychickally:

my sick humor makes me enjoy this. I know it’s not very appropraite. but it happens.

unequaldivision:

somethingsortaclever:

im-not-ofuckingkay:

DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW

AND FAT, WHAT DO YOU WEIGH

HA-HA-HA

YOU CAN’T FUCKING SING

I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT

GET OUT MY WAY YOU FUCKING HO

I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

OVER BODIES EVERY DAY (HEY)

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

BITCH WHAT DID I SAY

RUN THAT ASS CUZ YOU CAN’T HIDE

FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH

HEY

i can’t stop laughing. it hurts. oh..oh my… oh my goddamn….

I CANNOT BREATHE. OH DEAR LORD.

I just fucking.. oh my god.

Words cannot explain.

*Is shaking from forced silent laughter* Is it bad that I’m laughing?

OMFRICKEN GRACIOUS HELP I CANT STOP LAUGHING IDHFIOSDHFIOSD

New favorite song for the Holidays XD

I don’t EVEN have a proper GIF response to this hilarity XD XD XD!!!

I’M MEMORIZING THIS SHIT GODDAMN IT!!!

Photo

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:39:45 -0400

I'm excited and nervous and scared, and there's only one person who will talk to me about it. Everyone else just pretends nothing has changed.

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 21:18:00 -0400

sacredkarcram: yourdarklordsatan: thor is a disney princess...

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 21:09:28 -0400

sacredkarcram:

yourdarklordsatan:

thor is a disney princess everyone go home